Sunlight, Moonlight
by Shippo704
Summary: The events from volumes 13-15 from Yukino's POV. Yukino talks to Asaba to figure out what is wrong with Arima and gains a little insight.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kare Kano, it belongs to Masami Tsuda

* * *

**Sunlight, Moonlight**

* * *

_Arima is hiding something from me._

This is what Yukino thought after Arima had so obviously lied to her about that woman who'd shown up to meet him after school. He had said that she was just an old neighbour, but Yukino couldn't really believe that. Arima is a nice guy, sure, but who just walks off with someone who is more or less a stranger and many years older than you. If she was an old neighbour, Arima only would have known her as a kid, and would probably have known his parents much better than she knew him. Walking off with her didn't make any sense.

_So why would Arima lie to me? What is he hiding?_

It must be something pretty bad. He doesn't share much with me, especially the bad things. It's like he wants to keep me in a protected little bubble, shielding me from the horrors in his world. He doesn't have to, and he should know that. I'm his girlfriend and I'll love him, no matter what. Unless he admits to sleeping with Asaba... But he wouldn't do that. Asaba's antics must be getting to me.

Asaba.

Why didn't I think of that before? Arima shares everything with Asaba, things that he won't share with me. I guess they are best friends, but it still hurts a little. To figure this out, since Arima won't tell me no matter how much I ask him, I'll have to ask Asaba. He might know something.

* * *

"Hey there Asaba." Yukino called to her tall tanned friend.

"Oh, hey Miyazawa. What's up?" Asaba replied.

"Can I talk to you for a bit? It's about Arima." Yukino said.

Asaba followed Yukino outside to an empty patch of grass behind the school. Asaba had an idea of what Yukino probably wanted to talk about, and he wasn't sure exactly how much he should say. He figured that he'd just have to make it up as it happened. He didn't want to lie to her, and Arima's mask was already crumbling, he figured that whatever happened in the end would be what Arima deserved.

Asaba sat down on the grass, getting himself into a relaxing position, and waited for Yukino to start.

"Has Soichiro been lying to me?" Yukino asked.

"What makes you say that?" Asaba replied, answering a question with a question.

"The whole situation doesn't make sense. He met someone after school and looked scared. He later said that it was an old neighbour of his that he hadn't seen in a while. Two things don't make sense. First, why would he look scared of a neighbour, then agree to go with her somewhere. Second, their ages. She would know his parents better than him as he would have been a kid. When I brought it up, he more or less got me to drop the subject. What's going on with him? Have I been lied to all this time?" Yukino asked, much concern in her voice.

"If you're asking me, don't you already know the answer?" Asaba replied, once again with a question.

"When did this all start? Why would he lie to me? What possible reason could he have?" Yukino asked.

"If you're so concerned about why he lied to _you_ then maybe he was right in doing that. If you're so concerned about _yourself_ instead of why he felt the need to hide _himself_ at all, then maybe you don't deserve him as a boyfriend." Asaba replied, acting serious.

"I _hate_ you Asaba! You're just a cruel person!" Yukino shouted at him as she walked away.

_Ahaha, I teased her._

* * *

Maybe Asaba was right. I have been thinking of myself this whole time. I created my own world and I got so caught up in it that I ignored Arima's feelings. Since that night, the night that we performed 'Steel Snow,' Arima has slowly been changing, trying to become the perfect boyfriend and hide himself from me.

I told him before that _he_ was the one I loved. Not the mask he put up, but the real him. I guess it didn't mean enough to him, because he still can't trust me. He still feels like he can't tell me anything important, anything that matters so greatly to him.

I know, for him, being perfect is important, but I thought that I had changed that. I thought that I had helped him see that he didn't need to be perfect all the time, that I loved him the way that he was, the way that he is. I don't care about any of that stuff, I just want Arima back. How can I convince him?

There he is, walking this way. That's right, he has a free period now. And why is his hand stuck in his pocket like that? He doesn't normally keep it in his pocket. And what's this?

"I smell blood." Yukino accused, "Let me see your hand."

"What? No! Don't-" Arima tried to keep his hand in his pocket, but failed.

"_Why?!_ Why would you do this to yourself? Can't you understand that we're here for you, even when it hurts you can trust us? Your friends. I can't believe that you would be this _stupid_. So stupid that you'd go and cut your hand." Yukino punched the glass in the nearest door, "Will you trust me now that I've cut my hand too?"

"I'm a horrible person, Miyazawa, but you're a great person. You deserve someone much better than me." Arima said.

"No one hates you, no one thinks that. No one will abandon you and hurt you anymore. Why can't you just trust us?" Yukino asked.

Arima started to reach towards my hand, but then pulled away, as if frightened. He looked at my hand almost longingly, before snapping back like it was something forbidden to him. Something that he couldn't have or couldn't take. It gave me a clue.

"Maybe, after all this time Arima, you've been suppressing something. Something that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe after all this time, you just wanted to love someone?" Yukino said, hoping that this would help him.

Arima looked so relieved. A couple of tears fell before he hugged me and thanked me. Then he fainted, and I was stuck underneath my boyfriend.

* * *

After hearing his story while he was in the hospital, I feel like I'm farther from understanding Arima. I love him so much, but it feels like he will forever be out of my reach. I won't ever be able to understand him. I haven't experienced anything like that, nor will I ever. I can't understand the emotions that he had found so unbearable that he had to hide himself from the world.

But there is someone who does. Someone who saw this whole thing happening to Arima before the rest of us. Someone who was there for Arima and someone who Arima was able to confide in, at least a little.

Asaba.

Why does it seem to come back to Asaba again. Maybe I should talk with him, make up for last time. He was just trying to help, in his own way. I guess it's thanks to him that I confronted Arima and that he's gotten better. Without him to prompt me, what would I have done? Where would Arima be right now? I don't even want to think about what dark thoughts were running through his mind when he decided to stab straight through his hand.

I should talk to Asaba, apologize, and let this out. Asaba is the only one here who really understands all of this. And there he is, about to walk home.

"Hey Asaba, want to walk home together?" Yukino asked

"What about Arima? Won't he get jealous if he sees you walking with another guy? Even if it's just me." Asaba teased a little. I'm glad, it looks like he's forgiven me.

"Ah, don't worry. He's been told to go straight home and take it easy after school. He had a free period last period, while I had a class, so he's gone home already. He won't catch us." Yukino said.

There was a bit of a pause in the conversation. "Hey Asaba, I just want to apologize for before. You know, when we were talking." Yukino started. Asaba remained silent, listening, "You seem to know so much about Arima and he trusted you enough to tell you what was going on when he didn't trust anyone else. And now that I know, I can't understand him at all. The more I know, the less I can understand, and that makes me wonder if I really am good for him as his girlfriend."

"Arima loves you. From the beginning, his feeling for you never changed, even when he found out that you were different from what he'd expected. He knows that you can't understand, and he doesn't care. He loves you for you, the same way that you love him for him.

"There are people that can understand him, such as Tsubasa and me. He treats us as friends, but keeps us at a distance, almost like he's thinking 'I can't go there.'

"I think that people are attracted to each other for any number of reasons. Some for superficial reasons, some for the physicality, some for the emotional attachments, and some for who knows what reason. He loves you, and that's enough." Asaba said.

"What do you think about it then?" Yukino asked, "Why specifically me?"

"Well, I have a theory about people. Some people are like sunlight, and some are like moonlight. Sunlight people are people like you, people who can shine on their own. People glow brilliantly and can stand out, and be perfectly fine on their own. Arima and I are like moonlight. Moonlight people don't shine brightly unless they have a sunlight person to reflect. In other words, Arima can't be himself unless he has you. I think that this sense of freedom, or whatever he feels about it, is why he chose you. He loves you and you help him be him." Asaba explained.

"I understand. You're amazing, Asaba. But you say that you're a moonlight person too? And that you can understand Arima? Maybe you don't want to say, but I guess something pretty bad must have happened. I hope you can find your sunlight person some day, and I'll be here for you, always, until you do. And Arima, you two are best friends, right?" Yukino said

"Thanks, Miyazawa." Asaba said, "So, does that mean that if I get _really lonely_ you'd consider a date with me?" He joked.

"Only if you're willing to face Arima's wrath afterwards." Yukino played along.

"I'd be willing to risk my life for a lady." Asaba declared.

_Please, someone out there, make Asaba happy._

_I know that there's someone special out there for him._

_Please, come find this wonderful guy._

_Sunlight, Moonlight, whoever you are, I want to see Asaba happy._


End file.
